Monday, June 9, 2014

#166 - Born To Be Punched?

Men, if over time you have come to the point that you feel like punching bags, it apparently means you have evolved. Men, apparently, are designed to be punched.

At least that is one way of looking at a new theory on the evolution of men. As reported on BBC News, this theory, published in the June issue of Biological Reviews, our early male ancestors (the australopiths) evolved “beefy facial features” as a defense against fist fights. The article argues that this “beefing up” of men’s faces occurred as a result of fighting over women and resources. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

The areas that were protected the most by evolutionary changes, according to this theory, the jaw, cheek, eye, and nose structures, are those most prone to damage in a fist fight. Does that mean someone with a “glass jaw” is less evolved than, say, Hulk Hogan? You make that argument and, at least in certain circles, you could well have a fight on your hands.

According to this same article, men are apparently devolving when it comes to having a beefed up face. One of the authors, Professor David Carrier of the University of Utah, says this is because we have less need of such protection. The professor obviously does not watch professional wrestling, mixed martial arts, or daytime soap operas.

Perhaps this theory at long last explains our apparent need to go to war. We were born to fight or at least evolved that way. It is certainly a convenient explanation. It might even be correct. Many of the disputes of the past several years have, at some level, had a resource component involved, whether it be the battles in Iraq and Kuwait (oil) or the standoff in Nevada between ranchers and the federal government (grazing rights) or the legal battles between Alabama and Georgia (water).

What? You say you don’t get into fights? Never have? Are you single? Are you alone? Your failure to fight could be the reason. Men, the next time you want to show a woman you’re interested, go out and get punched, preferably in the face. It’s the least you can do. Besides, it’s what your face was made for. Years of evolution don't lie.

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