#116 - 2012: Thoughts on the Year Ahead

When I was younger, I had this tradition (or superstition, if you will) of making ten New Year's resolutions every New Year's Eve. Not nine, not 11, but ten. (I suppose I have to accept that my son gets some of his OCD tendencies from me.) Every year, I had a perfect record. Each year, I would make ten resolutions, and each year, I would break ten resolutions.

As I got older, I began to realize that making and breaking ten resolutions, while consistent, was not likely to lead to any kind of success I could build upon. (I am, you might say, a slow learner.) So I pared the list down. Some years, I'd make five resolutions, some years two or three. I think there were even a few years when I made no resolutions of any kind. Regardless of the number, I remained consistent, not keeping a single one.

This year, I've decided to try yet again. (I did say I was a slow learner.) I've decided to make one single resolution. My resolution for 2012 is to be better to myself. Vague, I know (something my wife was quick to point out), which is part of the point. Because it is such a broad resolution, I have a pretty decent chance of keeping it at some level.

But what exactly do I mean by resolving to be better to myself? Any number of things, really. At one level, I mean this to say I will be kinder to myself and not beat myself up of silly mistakes or over things I didn't or haven't done or things I did but perhaps shouldn't have. I have a tendency to be hard on myself when I screw up. My resolution is not intended to let me slide when I make a mistake but to not allow myself to dwell on it or wallow in self-pity.

At another level, being better to myself means being better to my body. One of the things I want to do in 2012 is cut down on my consumption of processed foods. This is somewhat easier said than done, I know, but I can make a decent effort simply by cutting out foods that come in a box, such as Hamburger Helper (or any of its Helper cousins), Rice-a-Roni, and other such box meals.

Since early retirement is not a likely option (Teresa won't go for it, for one thing), I need to do what I can so that I can enjoy retirement when it comes. That means lowering my blood pressure, reducing cholesterol, dropping some weight, and so on. Reducing my intake of processed foods can only help in this regard.

Being better to myself also means enjoying the things I have, enjoying the people around me, and not worrying or thinking so much about what I don't have or can't do. It also means not comparing myself to others, something I don't do much anyway but don't need to do at all.

Finally, I suppose being better to myself also means enjoying each day to the best of my ability and not worrying so much about what other people think about whether I am enjoying life or doing the right thing, etc. In other words, even as I make attempts to change certain aspects of myself and my life, I also need to accept and appreciate who I am.

So, yes, my single resolution to be better to myself in 2012 is a broad one, with numerous possibilities. If I can fulfill even one of those possibilities, then 2012 will be a successful year. Here's hoping your 2012 is also a success, however you define it.

Resolutions for the New Year

When I was younger, I would every New Year's Eve, without fail, make ten resolutions for the new year, resolutions I would invariably fail to keep. For many years, this was probably the only systemic and organized thing I would do.

After many years (I'm a slow learner), I realized that the only thing as consistent as my making these resolutions was my failure to keep any of them. So I stopped making them.

Last year, I decided to try again. I resolved to try to put my past behind me and finally stop letting it control my life. While I was not 100% successful in keeping this resolution, I made enough progress to encourage me to try again this year. So here goes.

In 2010, I resolve to embrace and enjoy life more fully. I feel I am already along the path toward accomplishing this. I laugh more (thanks in large part to Oliver, our beagle), I probably cry a little more, and I more fully appreciate and enjoy nature, especially sunsets. I intend to do more of these things in 2010.

I also resolve to try harder not to let little things bother or irritate me. This will be easier said than done. I have a real problem with idiot drivers who speed to get past me, get in front of me, and then slow down or turn. I'll at least try harder to clean up my language toward such drivers when these things occur.

I was going to try to come up with a third resolution, but I realized that these two cover most contingencies. As an author once wrote, don't sweat the small stuff, and it's all small stuff. If I manage to have any success keeping my second resolution, it all but guarantees I will have success keeping my first resolution.

I hope 2010 brings much happiness and success to each of you. And I resolve to be happy for you when that happens. There, that's three. Happy New Year!

Looking Forward to 2009

The new year is upon us, and what a year it promises to be. Global economic meltdown, war and unrest nearly everywhere you turn, in short, not much cause for celebration.

Yet that it what many people around the world did last night, and in my own quiet way, I was among them. On a macro scale, there may not be reason for optimism, but on a micro scale there is, for each new year brings another chance for renewal. This year, I intend to take it.

When I was younger and somewhat idealistic, I made New Year's resolutions, ten of them each year, systematically, right at midnight. As I got older and less idealistic, I stopped making resolutions because I found I was unable or unwilling to keep any of them.

This year, my 53rd on this planet, I have decided to make some resolutions again because I know in heart this year will not be like any other I have lived. For me, that will be a good thing.

The end of 2008 saw me begin therapy and begin a journey into myself. That journey will continue in 2009 as I work to tear down the inner walls that have kept me from achieving all that I am capable of, loving others more fully and more deeply, and truly being a part of the human condition.

I am lucky and blessed to have the love and support of a wonderful wife, Teresa, who has stuck by me through good and bad for 15 years. She has seen what was possible in me and waited patiently for me to see it too.

I am equally blessed to have the encouragement, support, and friendship of perhaps the best friend I have ever had. Heidi's encouragement and caring nature helped me to find the road back to myself and to begin the journey toward inner healing.

I am very lucky to have two truly special women in my life. For them and for the others who share a part of my journey, I want to make 2009 my year of change. I want to begin the work toward becoming the best me I can be. Toward that end, I have made six resolutions for the coming year:

1. To be more open.
   
   This is a somewhat open-ended resolution, and it is meant to be. I hope to become more open to my feelings, to new experiences, and to those around me. I will work to not close myself off from others and make myself distant and unapproachable.
   
   
2. To make new and more connections with others.
   
   I have had a number of wonderful people pass in and out of my life through the years, and I have managed to lose touch, lose connection with all of them. I am now fortunate to know some wonderful people, a few of whom I call friends, others whom I hope to be able to call friends in 2009. That will require me not closing off from others.
   
   
3. To release the writer inside me and to make the time to write.
   
   For years, I have always said I wanted to be a writer, but outside of a few spurts here and there I did not write. I spent more than a decade in broadcasting because it gave me a writing outlet, but I never pursued much writing beyond that. Lately, I have begun writing lyrics and poetry again. This blog is also an extension of my rediscovered desire to write. In 2009, I intend to continue this blog and to extend into short stories and perhaps other fiction.
   
   
4. To grow as a husband, as a father, and as a friend.
   
   These three areas represent my greatest shortcomings in the past, as I have not been all I could be in any of these areas. That will change in 2009, even as it began to change at the end of 2008. Teresa and Heidi have already given me opportunities to grow in two of those areas. My son will, no doubt, provide ample opportunity to grow in the remaining area.
   
   
5. To open the door to my life and to be the change I seek.
   
   This resolution comes out of reading the Conversations with God series of books by Neale Donald Walsch, which I highly recommend. One of the themes that runs through these books is the idea of believing you already have whatever it is you seek and you will find that you have it.
   
   
6. To take better care of myself and of the gifts I have been given.
   
   I have abilities I have never taken full advantage of or used to their fullest capability. 2009 is the year that starts to change. The care I speak of is three-fold: physical, mental, and emotional. I have begun the process toward taking better emotional care of myself, which will also help bring my mental side into better balance. As that occurs, I will then add in the physical component so that I can better enjoy the people and the things around me.

I hope 2009 also turns into a year of tremendous opportunity and growth for each of you.