In Memoriam - Thoughts on Loss

 Earlier this week, I got word that a friend from my younger adult days had died. We had lost touch over the years because of distance, both geographical and philosophical. From the occasional pictures that would pop up on social media, I gather that she had been in poor health for some time.

Hearing about her passing got me to thinking of the times when I lived in closer proximity and would spend many an hour with her and husband at their house, talking, arguing, laughing. Sometimes it would just be the three of us (and their young daughter). Other times, there would be more people around.

She and I fell out over politics, a sadly all too common occurrence in this increasingly polarized nation in which we live. Both of us were guilty of not being able or perhaps willing to hear the other person or to try to learn why the other person held the views they held. None of that really matters now.

I can't say there is ever a good time to lose a loved one, but facing such loss as people head into the holiday season has to be especially difficult. I would imagine that the holidays would take on a different tenor because they would always be a reminder that a loved one is no longer here to share the togetherness that many of us practice and experience at this time of year.

As we age, loss becomes more commonplace and more inevitable. It is both a sad fact and a reminder of the circle of life. So celebrate the people around you while they are still around you. Recall fondly the people who have been a part of your journey through this life, regardless of the stage at which you and they shared the path.

Finally, I want to share some advice I've give out over the years after people have suffered a loss, whether it be a loved one or an old friend or a long time pet. I don't think I'm the only one to ever come up with it, but I've never heard it said, so perhaps I am. That advice is this: as long as that loved one, that friend, that pet lives on in your memory, they are never truly gone. And that is something worth giving thanks for. Happy Thanksgiving.

#179 - Another Auld Lang Syne

As I sit here, there are less than four hours left in 2014. My son is busy playing away on his WiiU, and my wife is asleep on the sofa in the other room. I'm sitting here trying to figure out just what I want to say as one year ends and a new one begins. Do we know how to party or what?

As is the case every year, new names and faces entered the world as well as the public consciousness while other people gave up their earthly existence, their souls embarking on the next stage of their cosmic adventure.

For some of my friends, the losses hit closer to home. One friend and former colleague lost her father. Even though children are supposed to outlive their parents, I don't think it's any easier for a child to lose a parent than it is for a parent to lose a child. In some ways, that kind of loss may sum up better than anything what life is really all about.

Life is not supposed to be easy. It is not supposed to stay constant; life is fluid, always changing, much like a river changes over time. The other part of the lesson in all of this may be that nothing worth having is gained without effort.

A different kind of loss befell another friend of mine this year. Her longtime boyfriend lost his job after working for the same company for many years. That kind of loss can put stress on a relationship and create all kinds of uncertainty. Being that he is the same age as me, I can relate a bit to the challenge ahead as he tries to re-enter the workforce, especially when it comes to landing a good-paying job. The one difference is that I was lucky enough to be able to leave on my own terms.

Just as in any year, 2014 was not without its positive moments. We welcomed a grand or great niece into the family. Teresa and I enjoyed a wonderful week with her brother and his wife and without children. I wrote more than I have in years, and Teresa and I worked up one of my lyrics that we may perform publicly for the first time in early 2015.

Sometimes I think about things that might have been and things I might have done if I'd had more ambition or drive or strength of personality. At the same time, as I get older, I realize that as long as I'm breathing it's never too late to start working on making one's dreams a reality. Having said that, I also realize that it probably wasn't the smartest thing to wait so long to get started.

May the coming year bring each of you health, happiness, and peace. Most of all, though, I hope 2015 brings each one of you the desire to pursue and achieve at least one of your dreams. Make new friends and remember old ones. Reconnect with your inner self and with those around you. Happy hunting and happy new year!