#123 - Sheer Madness

It's been a number of months since i have brought myself to post a blog entry. A number of times, I've had ideas to write about, things I thought I wanted to say, but somehow, I could not get motivated to write anything. Until now.

I thought for several hours today before deciding to write something in response to the tragedy in Connecticut. I don't know what drove the shooter to commit these horrible acts or why he thought these children should die. Any speculation in that direction would be merely that, and it would do nothing to bring those children back or ease the suffering of their families left behind.

Some are using this as an opportunity to point out the need for stronger gun control laws. Others are expressing the need for people to arm themselves so they can be prepared "the next time." Some are merely asking that there be some kind of discussion.

I am among those who believes there are too many guns in this country, although I have no desire to outlaw them or prevent people from legally obtaining them. However, I get tired of the "guns don't kill people, people kill people" crap many gun advocates post after such a tragedy. From my vantage point, I see people killing people - WITH GUNS.

Other countries, such as Australia and Canada, have much stricter gun laws and have much lower per capita rates of gun-related deaths. There may or may not be a correlation, and again, I am not saying I want to take everyone's guns away.

What I am saying is that we make it harder to get a driver's license than we do to buy a gun. We now have driver education programs in our schools so that young people do not get behind the wheel of a motor vehicle without some training and awareness of the laws. I don't see how requiring the same kind of education before buying a gun constitutes an attempt to prevent gun ownership, although some gun advocates all too easily make that leap.

I don't know whether we need more laws, fewer laws, better laws, or simply better enforcement of existing gun laws. But to refuse to enter into rational and thoughtful discussion of the issue and dismissing those on "the other side" and blaming them for what ails America is sheer madness.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I have fired a gun on a few occasions and, knowing my limitations when it comes to handling firearms, have no desire to own a gun or have one in my home. I understand there are those who feel safer having a gun. Me, I feel safer not having one. All I ask is that you know where your gun is at all times and keep it in a place where others (especially children) can't get to it without your knowledge. We might both sleep better.

#122 - An Update and a Nice Summer Wine

I've been thinking for several days now that I needed to write another post, though I wasn't quite sure what I would write about. Tonight, I decided to visit the site and realized it has been nearly two months since my last entry. I'm still not sure what to write about, but perhaps if I hit enough keys for long enough something of meaning will come out. Then again perhaps not.

First, an update on the new lifestyle. It has been 12 weeks since we began working toward eating more of a plant-based, whole foods diet. With a few small transgressions (such as using some of the mayonnaise we still had in the refrigerator when we made this change), we have been completely meat and dairy-free for the entire time.

Over the 12 weeks, we have managed to drastically reduce the amount of added oils and sugars in our diets and have substantially cut back on our intake of processed foods while increasing the amount of fruits and vegetables we eat. We are also becoming more active. As a result, we have collectively shed nearly 40 pounds. Teresa has dropped 12 and I've lost 25 pounds.

In addition, we are becoming more adventurous in what we eat. Tomorrow night for instance, I am going to try my hand at making falafel. Traditionally, this tasty treat is deep-fried, but I've found some recipes for baking them, which is what I intend to do.

Beyond that, though, I am also becoming reacquainted with a food I had sworn off as a child because of its association with various bad experiences from that stage of my life. For the first time in more than 40 years, I am able to eat tomato (not simply tomato products like ketchup) without grimacing or gagging. I won't say we're good friends again, but I am becoming more comfortable having a bite of tomato in my mouth.

One of the rituals or habits we've begun to develop since changing our eating lifestyle is that we occasionally enjoy fresh-made hummus on the patio with a glass of wine (or two) and perhaps some fruit. Recently, we came across a fairly inexpensive wine that pairs well with either one or even with both, which is how we enjoyed it.

The wine in question is Turning Leaf Crisp White, and it is certainly that. It has a light lemon scent and a slight hint of carbonation. That latter fact makes it a possible alternative to New Age White wine, with which it shares a number of characteristics but at a lower cost.

The wine makes a wonderful summer accompaniment to fresh fruit, hummus, salad (perhaps with a nice vinaigrette). It manages to work with a wide variety of foods because the lemony hint helps to balance again sweeter food such as fruit while there is also just a hint of sweetness which help to balance against slightly more tart foods.

Refresh Crisp White by Turning Leaf is also a real bargain, usually running between $6 and $8 a bottle. If you want a nice balance between cost, taste, and refreshment, this wine is a good choice.

#121 - Adventures in Eating

Let me just start by saying I like food. For years I've had almost a love affair with beef, pork, chicken, potatoes, pasta, just about any dessert you can name. And food loved me back, to the point where I was many pounds overweight with a cholesterol level well over 200.

That all started to change four weeks ago. That was when a couple of things converged to bring out a change.

I learned about a study of eating habits and diet in China and the apparent connections between levels of animal protein intake (meat and dairy) and diseases such as diabetes, heart disease, even cancer.

While I was reading The China Study by Dr. T. Colin Campbell, Teresa and I happened upon a documentary on Hulu dealing with the same subject. The film Forks Over Knives presented many of the same arguments of Campbell's book but in a slightly more accessible format.

After seeing that film and another called Chow Down, we decided it was time to make a change in the way we eat. We began to drastically cut the amount of meat and dairy in our diets as well as the amount of oils we use. (We have not yet completely eliminated meat and dairy because of food we had purchased prior to seeing these films.) At the same time, we began to eat more fruits and vegetables.

About ten days into this dietary change we also bought a Wii Fit and began to incorporate exercise into our daily routine. Now, let me say I hated exercise with a passion before the Wii Fit. Exercise was boring, and I seldom saw any meaningful results, even after months of effort. Then, I would give up.

Since getting the Wii Fit, exercise has actually become, dare I say it, fun. The Wii Fit provides numerous activities, from yoga stretches and balance activities to aerobic exercises and strength training.

Between the dietary changes and the exercise, I have so far lost nine pounds in four weeks, and I have done it without pills and without starving myself. I still have a long way to go, but I can honestly say I feel better, and I am beginning to see the change physically.

In the interest of fairness, there are those who question the link between intake of animal protein and disease. Those same people say the evidence that a diet eliminating animal protein can help prevent or even reverse those diseases is suspect. I don't know who is right, but it doesn't really matter to me.

Even if the skeptics are right, there is still much to be said in favor of the dietary changes we have made. Seeing those films and reading The China Study made up think, perhaps for the first time, about what we were eating. Even if we need not have given up meat and dairy, the change to eating mostly fruits and vegetable and grains also resulted in a move away from highly processed foods. We now eat almost nothing that comes out of a box except for hot cereal.

Science was never my strong suit, so I don't know which side of the argument carries the most scientific weight. What I do know is that I feel better, and I am losing weight without skipping meals, without taking diet pills, and without counting calories or feeling deprived.

Between the changes in the way I feel and my weight and the compelling argument made by some that the amount of grain used to feed livestock each year is more than enough to feed the world's population, I feel I've made the right choice and opened the door to a whole new love affair with food.

Additional resources:

Chow Down (the actual film on Hulu.com)
Dr. McDougall's Health and Medical Center
The Engine 2 Diet
T. Colin Campbell Foundation

#120 - The Skinny on Wine

I like wine. A lot. Don't get me wrong. I enjoy a good craft beer or a good porter from time to time. However, as I get older, I find I am more drawn to the fruit of the grape over beer or hard liquor.

When it comes to wine, I am certainly no expert, but I know what I like. Recently, I had a bottle of something I really liked. Men, you need to be somewhat secure in your manhood to admit you like this particular wine, but I am. And I do.

The wine was the Skinnygirl California Red. The skinny quality comes from the fact that the wine has "just" 100  calories in a five-ounce glass. It is has a bright edge to it, a quality that comes from being a young vintage. The bottle I had was a pre-production 2010 bottle (*), but the 2011 vintage is what is now available on the market.

As I drank it, the Skinnygirl reminded me of a Zinfandel. I have since learned that it is made primarily from Syrah. I like both. In fact, they are probably my favorite red varietals, so it should come as no surprise that I liked the Skinnygirl.

The wine could be described as fruity, I suppose, but it is not sweet, which seems to be the growing trend, even in red wines these days. Nor is it as full or heavy as a Cabernet or even a Merlot. I would definitely drink it again.

Skinnygirl California Red is a little on the pricey side from my vantage point. In our household, wine is a regular accompaniment to meals, as well as a nice beverage to enjoy on a sunny day. It is not something we pull out only on special occasions. That means we look for bargains. Fortunately, we are not wine snobs. I've even enjoyed a few glasses of Charles Shaw. otherwise known as Two-Buck Chuck.

While Skinnygirl makes a very good everyday wine or dinner wine, its price disqualifies it from that status for us. A quick search on the Internet found Skinnygirl California Red for between $13 and $15 a bottle. At that price, it may be a bit out of its league or at least a bit out of mine. If the price comes down to around $10 a bottle, Skinnygirl could be a winner. (There is also a white blend, made primarily from Chardonnay and Pinot Grigio.)

* In the interest of full disclosure, I received my bottle of Skinnygirl California Red as a gift.

#119 - An Experiment in Driving

When we have the opportunity. we like to take our fifth-wheel trailer out of town and get away from the traffic, the mall, the everyday world. Thanks to the fifth-wheel, we have all of the comforts of home, just with better scenery.

Because we have a fifth-wheel, and because we don't have a three-car garage or the desire to buy, insure, and maintain a third vehicle, our second vehicle is a truck. This isn't your run-of-the-mill, everyday Chevy Silverado, Dodge Ram, or Ford F-150. No, our truck is a 2006 Ford F-350 Crew Cab with dual rear wheels.

Needless to say, this beast does not have the fuel-sipping characteristics of your basic compact. However, it can just about pull a house. Or, in our case, a house on wheels.

For the first year or so that we owned it, this truck averaged around 12.5 miles per gallon. The price of diesel being what it is, that translates into a real financial kick in the stomach every time I would fill it up.After the odometer passed 75,000 miles (just getting started for a diesel), the fuel mileage improved to a shade over 13 mpg. Still not all that good.

A few months ago, I heard a story on some public radio program talking about a concept known as hypermiling. There is even a website devoted to the subject and offering tips for successful hypermiling.

Basically, the concept involves taking every opportunity to not press on the gas or brake pedal. Part of that involves anticipating traffic signals and stop signs, taking your foot off the gas, and coasting as far as possible before applying the brake pedal.

Another aspect of hypermiling I recently began to employ involves letting your vehicle begin to move of its own accord before beginning to press on the gas pedal. (Obviously, this only works with automatic transmissions unless you are headed downhill.) The theory is that it takes less fuel to move an object that is already moving.

I also use gravity to boost fuel mileage, coasting down hills whenever I have the opportunity. I have gotten better at anticipating traffic signals, which means less need to use the brake pedals and an added maintenance benefit.

None of these things, nor any others I might come up with, is going to give my truck the fuel efficiency of a Toyota Prius. However, I have seen close to a ten-percent improvement in mileage in each of the last two tanks of fuel. I now average around 14.2 miles per gallon driving around town.

As I get better at employing the ideas and concepts involved in hypermiling, I have hopes of nearly 15 miles per gallon in town, and that's without any after-market. additions or other alterations to the truck itself. If I can get the truck to 15 mpg, I will truly be a happy camper.

#118 - Friends and Foibles

"But you got to have friends" - Bette Midler

It's good to have friends. I've never really thought of myself as being all that likeable or as having many friends, and compared to some people maybe I haven't. After spending some time on Facebook, however, I've found that more people touched my life than I realized and have remembered me more kindly than I had any right to expect.

For a long time, I came across as distant and maybe aloof (maybe I still do). At least that was always my perception of myself. Truth was, I was painfully shy and afraid to let people in to get to know me, afraid they wouldn't like what they saw because I didn't like what I saw. Because of that, I always tended to keep people at arms' length.

I think of the people who passed in and out of my life during those years and wish I had been able to break down the walls to let them in. Thankfully, I have been able to reconnect with some of those same people on Facebook. In the case of a select few, I have even managed to go beyond the typical superficialities that often come with posting on Facebook.

From these select few, I have received kindness, encouragement, understanding, and, as needed, a swift kick in the pants. They have also caused me to think about what might have been in my own life and to wonder a little about what might yet be in the life of my son.

My son is in some ways a lot like me in that he is hard to get to know beneath the surface, hard to pin down. In my case, that slipperiness served as one of my defenses. For my son, it may also do the same. However, it may also be a by-product of the fact that he is autistic.

My son can be both endearing and exasperating at the same time. He will hug the dickens out of you one moment and the next invite you to leave the room so he can be alone. Although he mentions the names of others he goes to school with, I don't know that he has many friends. He's never really had other children come over and never really asked to.

He and I are different in many ways but very similar in terms of our difficulties in connecting with other people. Because of that, we are not perhaps as close as we should be. On the other hand, he and I are closer than my father and I were.

Earlier today, I did some thinking about the emotional similarities between me and my son. I was inspired to write the following lines which are not quite about him and not quite about me, yet they are in many ways about the two of us.

Between The Lines

Cold - no feeling showed there in his eyes
He kept his true self in disguise
Hidden away

Still -there was a kindness in his smile
It was hard to reconcile
In the light of day

In his world, he was protected
His true feelings unsuspected
There inside his shell
Hidden all too well

He - wasn't like all of the others
It would take more to discover
What was in his heart

Fate - had given him a kinder soul
But had made him not quite whole
A missing part

That could never quite explain
What went on there in his brain
What was in his head
Never quite got said

He wasn't quite what others hoped he'd be
Not quite a product of his time
Nobody saw quite what he hoped they'd see
They never learned to read between the lines

#117 - Bad Day at Black Rock

Today, I still have a job. At least nine people I know or deal with from time to time do not. There may be others who have not yet been able to say anything.

Today, the company I work issued a statement announcing hundreds of people will be let go "in order to help us be more competitive." Although I suspect this has been in the planning stages for some time, the execution (somehow an apropos word) seems to better resemble a Chinese fire drill or the final stages of a going out of business sale. (Everything must go! No reasonable offer refused.)

I say that because the announcement was made today, those affected were told today, and the each of them will be out of a job February 29. Not much time to polish up the ole resume or begin cold-calling to find another position. Thank you for your dedication and years of service. Don't let the door hit you in the you-know-where on your way out.

People at my job level were told their positions are safe. In this day and age, when neither companies nor employees need feel any loyalty to the other, I'm not exactly sure what "safe" means. I guess today, it means I still have a job. Tomorrow, who knows?

This is at least the third reduction in force I've experienced in the last three and a half years with this company. I suspect it won't be the last. The first time, I was directly affected, as my position was outsourced overseas. The other times, I knew people affected. Next time, maybe it will be my turn again.

You know what, though? While I am angry about the events that unfolded today, I am not worried about what tomorrow will bring. The sun will rise (even if I don't see it behind the clouds) and life will go on. A wise man (and former co-worker) once told me "I work to live. I don't live to work." I hope one day to achieve that level of wisdom. In the meantime, however, I won't sweat it. Worrying doesn't do any good anyway.

#116 - 2012: Thoughts on the Year Ahead

When I was younger, I had this tradition (or superstition, if you will) of making ten New Year's resolutions every New Year's Eve. Not nine, not 11, but ten. (I suppose I have to accept that my son gets some of his OCD tendencies from me.) Every year, I had a perfect record. Each year, I would make ten resolutions, and each year, I would break ten resolutions.

As I got older, I began to realize that making and breaking ten resolutions, while consistent, was not likely to lead to any kind of success I could build upon. (I am, you might say, a slow learner.) So I pared the list down. Some years, I'd make five resolutions, some years two or three. I think there were even a few years when I made no resolutions of any kind. Regardless of the number, I remained consistent, not keeping a single one.

This year, I've decided to try yet again. (I did say I was a slow learner.) I've decided to make one single resolution. My resolution for 2012 is to be better to myself. Vague, I know (something my wife was quick to point out), which is part of the point. Because it is such a broad resolution, I have a pretty decent chance of keeping it at some level.

But what exactly do I mean by resolving to be better to myself? Any number of things, really. At one level, I mean this to say I will be kinder to myself and not beat myself up of silly mistakes or over things I didn't or haven't done or things I did but perhaps shouldn't have. I have a tendency to be hard on myself when I screw up. My resolution is not intended to let me slide when I make a mistake but to not allow myself to dwell on it or wallow in self-pity.

At another level, being better to myself means being better to my body. One of the things I want to do in 2012 is cut down on my consumption of processed foods. This is somewhat easier said than done, I know, but I can make a decent effort simply by cutting out foods that come in a box, such as Hamburger Helper (or any of its Helper cousins), Rice-a-Roni, and other such box meals.

Since early retirement is not a likely option (Teresa won't go for it, for one thing), I need to do what I can so that I can enjoy retirement when it comes. That means lowering my blood pressure, reducing cholesterol, dropping some weight, and so on. Reducing my intake of processed foods can only help in this regard.

Being better to myself also means enjoying the things I have, enjoying the people around me, and not worrying or thinking so much about what I don't have or can't do. It also means not comparing myself to others, something I don't do much anyway but don't need to do at all.

Finally, I suppose being better to myself also means enjoying each day to the best of my ability and not worrying so much about what other people think about whether I am enjoying life or doing the right thing, etc. In other words, even as I make attempts to change certain aspects of myself and my life, I also need to accept and appreciate who I am.

So, yes, my single resolution to be better to myself in 2012 is a broad one, with numerous possibilities. If I can fulfill even one of those possibilities, then 2012 will be a successful year. Here's hoping your 2012 is also a success, however you define it.

#115 - 2011: The Roller Coaster Ride That Was

I'm sitting here with Teresa, reading a Christmas letter from some old friends now living in Maine, getting ready to watch Teresa's alma mater, Auburn, play Virginia in the Chick-Fil-A Bowl, and preparing to ring out 2011. Good riddance, I say.

The first half of the year was uneventful enough. We managed to get out several times in the fifth-wheel, and Christopher successful navigated through his final year of junior high. Then he and Teresa made a trip to see her family in Alabama. When they got back, she got sick.

In July, we got a look at a 2007 Alpenlite Voyager fifth-wheel. We weren't looking to upgrade at that point, but the layout was much closer to what we thought would be ideal for us, and the price is right, so we decided to pull the trigger. We also managed to sell our old fifth-wheel in a week. That was, perhaps, the highlight of 2011 for us.

Then came September. I guess they don't call it fall for nothing. Christopher got off to a successful start in high school. Teresa got laid off from her job, then got un-laid off.

We decided to take the new fifth-wheel out for a four-day trip to Anderson Ranch Reservoir. Bad idea. After it was all said and done, the damage was close to $17,000, and we were out-of-pocket close to $3,000.

October had more in store for us. The following week, Teresa began a new job with St. Luke's Health. Hopefully, it will prove to be a rewarding move for her in the long run.

November brought Christopher's turn on the roller coaster. He developed an abscess on his upper leg. Right before Christmas, he developed another one, and we were told it was MRSA. Heck of a way to end the year. It felt as if we crammed a year's worth of events into the final three months of the year.

Still, it was a pretty good year. Teresa got into a job situation that should be very good for her. We qualified for some support services for Christopher, and we managed to get out a number of times in the fifth-wheel, something we truly enjoy doing.

Despite the adversity of the last three months of the year, we are blessed. We both have jobs, we live in a very scenic part of the country, and we have opportunities to get out and enjoy that scenery. All in all, life is pretty good. I hope life was good to each of you in 2011 and continues to be good to you in 2012. Happy new year!

#114 - Christmas Wishes and Gifts (of a sort)

I've been thinking about this post off and on for a few days now, thinking about what I wanted to say and about how I wanted to say it. Before I say any of that, though, let me first wish everyone a Merry Christmas, no matter how you mark, celebrate, or otherwise pass the day.

Now, on to the Christmas wishes and gifts. Hopefully you won't be too offended to make your way to the end of this post.

First, to the members of Congress, I give a collective lump of coal for turning their backs on and shirking their responsibility to the majority of Americans in this country. Echoes of the actions of this Congress can be found in the so-called "Do-Nothing Congress" of the 1940s under President Harry S. Truman.

Neither the Democrats nor the Republicans has led on any issue. Instead, both sides have acted like spoiled children who threaten to either hold their breath until they turn blue or take their ball and go home. I've never been an advocate for term limits because I believe there is value in a life spent in public service. This Congress has me reconsidering.

Next, to President Obama, I would give - if it were in my power - a backbone. He took office saying he would look to work with the other side of the aisle, something I took to indicate a willingness to compromise. There is a big difference between compromise and capitulation.

I believe the President has given much more ground to the Republicans in Congress than he has gained on numerous issues. I also don't believe the actions of Obama the President match the views espoused by Obama the candidate.

For practitioners of various faiths, I would give - if I could - greater understanding of one another. I believe it is only through understanding that we can achieve peace, one of the sentiments underlying the season, at least as evidenced in many of the Christmas cards that make their way through the mail this time of year.

Finally, for my friends and family, I wish improved and/or increased prosperity in 2012. I am not really speaking in financial terms, although I would be glad to see that for each of you as well. Instead, what I wish for you is richness of mind and of spirit and of faith, regardless of what it is you believe. My own faith journey has been filled with stops and starts over the years but has finally brought me to a place where I believe to be true what is stated in this ancient Japanese saying:

"There are many paths up the mountain, but the view of the moon from the top is the same."

May each of you have a joyous Christmas, filled with love and laughter and peace.

#113 - The Worst Day of the Year?

Now that the Thanksgiving feasting is over and tables have been cleared and food put away all over the country, we can allow our thoughts to turn to . . . shopping???

Yes, even before we finish digesting our meals it is time to turn our attention to Christmas shopping. Thanksgiving is not even over, and the Christmas advertising has begun in full force.

I've been inundated with e-mails from traditional and online retailers alike over the last several days. It's enough to make me want to say "Enough."

Regardless of where you stand on the religious and spiritual significance of Christmas, it doesn't seem too much to ask for a slight break between Thanksgiving and the start of the Christmas shopping season. At the very least, I don't think it is too much to ask that stores wait until the day after Thanksgiving before they launch their sales assaults.

Instead, we have stores opening at 10 p.m. or midnight on Thanksgiving, assuming they closed at all. (Wal-Mart's deals begin at 10 p.m. Thanksgiving night. I'll let you reach your own conclusions as to what that says about how they feel about their employees.) We barely have time to reflect on the things we are thankful for before we begin thinking about the deals we hope to snag and be thankful for.

From a time to remember and celebrate the birth of Christ (for those who are Christians) or even a time to remember and celebrate being with family (as was probably more the case in my family growing up), Christmas has become the primary profit-making season for retailers and the time of year when many of us show the worst aspects of what it is to be human.

Greed and selfishness have replaced giving, compassion, and good will as the bywords of Christmas. Christmas shopping itself has become a competition. We fight each other to grab the last doodad or whatchamacallit that next year neither we nor the recipients will recall. I personally don't think any thing is worth that much trouble.

While some will get up at midnight or four a.m. to try and save some money (but at what other cost), assuming they go to bed at all, I will be sleeping snug in my bed (without the visions of sugar plums in my head).

I am content to let others run the retail gauntlet. They are welcome to endure the bumping and bruising from other shoppers. Let them experience the disappointment of finding that the store has sold out of the item they got up early to get. I don't mind missing those deals. After all, there will be others.

#112 - Giving Thanks

In a blog post on the eve of Thanksgiving, Neale Donald Walsch, author of the Conversations With God series of books (among others), made the unique and I thought inspired suggestion to abolish Thanksgiving as a holiday and instead make it a holy day.

While that in and of itself was enough to make me take notice, what I found unique and inspiring was a suggestion he made later in his post with regard to how Thanksgiving is celebrated:

Forget about sitting down to a big meal and offering thanks to God for all the bounty that has been received during the past year. Instead, create a new ritual. Sit down together and thank God for all the goodness that is to come.

He believes we should discuss those things in the coming year for which we are going to be thankful. In other words, looking ahead rather than looking back. As he has stated in Conversations With God:

. . . the message about gratitude is clear. It is the most powerful form of prayer. Gratitude in advance, not gratitude after the fact. This is because to thank God in advance for something is the highest form of faith. It is a statement of supreme confidence. It is the Ultimate Knowing.

Walsch goes so far as to suggest making a list and writing down all that you choose to have happen between Thanksgiving 2011 and Thanksgiving 2012 and then reading it aloud at dinner. He says doing so will give Thanksgiving a new meaning:

It will now be about Sharing and Declaring. It will be about Knowing and Growing. We grow into what we know.

I'm certainly willing to give it a try. So here is my list:

1. I will be thankful for all of the opportunities I have in the coming year to spend time RVing and reconnecting with nature. Spending five weeks without our truck and still being without our trailer makes me realize just how precious those moments are.
2. I will be thankful for the love and patience of my wife, Teresa. She has been and continues to be my anchor (a term I use in a good way), helping me to stay grounded and giving me someone to laugh and cry with.
3. I will be thankful for all of my Facebook friends, people from my past and present, as well as those I have yet to meet. They help to bring to life memories of the places I've been as well as the places I still hope to see.
4. I will be thankful for new challenges and new opportunities to grow. The last few years have been some of the best of my life in terms of growing and learning to better accept myself. I suspect the coming year will bring more of the same.
5. I will be thankful (or at least strive to be thankful) for the challenges of dealing with a teenage autistic son. It now looks like we may have a little help with that, which I think will make life less stressful and more enjoyable for all of us.

I'm not sure those are in the format Walsch is suggesting, but hopefully they will be seen as being in the proper spirit.

Walsch concludes his blog post by suggesting that Thanksgiving should be the holiest day of the year

. . . because gratitude is the most sacred tool in the Creator’s Toolbox. With it anything can be produced, anything can be created, anything can be experienced!

I am not a Biblical scholar or a theologian, but I suspect he may be on to something. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. Be thankful. I am.

#111 - Thoughts on Halloween

I'll admit it, I'm not much of a fan of Halloween. It's not just the fact that my son begins talking about Halloween in August, although that probably plays a part.

It's not that you see and receive types of candy you wouldn't see or receive any other time of the year, although that also may play a part. I'm sorry, but candy corn and those multi-colored toffee-like chews wrapped in black (usually) waxed paper are not my idea of a tasty treat. (Now if someone had figured out how to put bite-sized cheesecake candy in my bag, they would have been onto something.)

It's also not that I got trick-or-treated out when I was young. Fact is, I remember going out to trick-or-treat twice in my life - once at age 11 and the next and last time at age 12. That second experience turned me off to the entire trick-or-treating thing once and for all.

When I was 12, my mother decided I should make some sort of statement with my costume. (What that statement was meant to be, I have no idea.) Being a family on welfare, however, precluded renting or buying a statement-making costume. So my mother decided she would make my costume.

She (or maybe we, I don't recall) decided I should dress as Cousin Itt from the Addams Family. You might think such a costume would consist of a series of blond wigs somehow stitched together, perhaps some sunglasses, and a bowler or Derby hat. You'd be right about the hat and the glasses.

In those days, we lived in a rental house located in a mostly industrial area. Our nearest neighbors were a gas station and a warehouse. On the opposite of the road from us was a huge drainage ditch in which grew what we called cattails, known in Britain as bulrush and given the scientific/biological name of typha.

My mother came up with the idea of making the bulk of my costume using the plants. (Pay attention to the word bulk; I'll be coming back to it.) Those of you into crafting or with strong imaginations might be thinking "what a novel idea." You didn't have to wear the thing.

I will admit that the finished product did bear some resemblance to the character I was meant to look like. I will also admit I felt somewhat like Cousin Itt, or least I felt like I was carrying Cousin Itt piggyback.

You see, that costume seemed to weigh 30 or 40 pounds. Maybe more. After a few houses, I felt like I was stuck inside a bamboo sauna. The thing was bulky and suffocating. My mother forgot to put sufficient air holes in the costume to allow for ventilation, hydration, or breathing.

I think I lasted four houses before I took the costume off, after which, my treat intake declined and my feeling I had been tricked increased. After that night, I never had the desire to trick-or-treat again. Perhaps that was my mother's goal. She had a twisted sense about her, and since we couldn't afford dental care, perhaps she thought that was the best way to turn me off of candy. Since that night, I've also had no desire to dress up for Halloween, although I did so once as an adult. Sadly, no one understood the costume.

These days, I am content to hand out candy to those for whom trick-or-treating is a more pleasant experience. I especially enjoy handing candy out to the younger children (say seven and under) for whom trick-or-treating is a chance to escape to another world and not simply an easy way to a sugar rush (as it seems to be for the teenagers who come to our door, judging from the lack of thought put into their costumes).

For the youngest of them, trick-or-treating is still a magical event, a chance to discover and marvel at untold treasures of all shapes and flavors. They are the ones for whom Halloween is truly meant. Me, I started too late. Thankfully, they did not. Happy Halloween and safe trick-or-treating everyone!

#110 - A Month to Forget

October has been a month to forget. My hope is that November will have enough going for it that I can do so.

The month started with me looking forward to two days off. The plan was to take the truck and fifth-wheel up to Anderson Ranch Reservoir, a place I had spent a nice weekend the year before.

This year was going to be a little different. Teresa and Christopher were staying in Idaho this year, so Christopher was going to come with Oliver and me, and Teresa was going to join us after finishing her last day of work with Supervalu on that Friday. That is what was supposed to happen, anyway.

What actually happened was a $16,000 nightmare. I got up to the reservoir mid-morning as planned in order to get a good spot before all the hunters arrived. Unfortunately, I was not able to judge how solid the ground was and managed to get truck and trailer stuck. So far, we're only talking inconvenience and embarrassment.

Then the first towing company arrived. I figured they knew what they were doing; after all, they told me several times they had gotten rigs out of the same predicament in roughly the same area. I suppose I should have begun to be concerned when I saw they had to piece together several smaller chains and cables in order to make something long enough to reach the truck. But, not having a lot of experience with being towed, I thought nothing of it.

A little later, when one of the chains snapped, I began to get a little concerned, but I still didn't think too much about it. Then, their big flatbed tow truck got stuck, but I still wasn't hearing the warning signals.

When they were unable to pull me out from behind (the preferred method since it was a straight shot), they decided to dig some more, set their trucks at a 90-degree angle to the front of my truck, hook up there and try to turn the truck and rig and pull them out that way. At this point, if I had not still been in shock over what had happened to lead to all of this, I might have had enough sense and awareness to just say No. The fact that the lead man had "25 years of experience" led me to trust his judgment.

When he said he was sure they could get the truck and trailer out with "minimal damage," I should have picked up on the use of the word "damage," but I didn't. After the fact, all I can conclude is that the term "minimal damage" has a different meaning in the world of towing than it does in my household.

After six hours of trying and failing to free truck and trailer (not counting the hour spent freeing their own truck), the tow company and I agreed we should stop. That was about two hours or so too late.

The tow company cut me a "break" on the tow bill $925 instead of the $1,860 they said it should have been. That's because the truck and trailer were probably stuck worse than when they started work. Not to mention the damage, most of which I had little clue about until last week.

Christopher, Oliver and I sat in the dark for two and a half more hours until Teresa could come get us and bring us home. Two days later, Teresa and I rented a truck and went back up to claim some belongings out of the trailer. Several hundred more dollars spent on the weekend that never was.

Nine days after getting stuck, a second company went up to try their luck. they had plenty to say about the first company's efforts, none of it good. But they did manage to get truck and trailer out after about three hours (digging and winching combined). Then both were off to repair facilities.

The estimate on the truck came in first: rear bumper - bent and needs replacing, left fender - needs replacing, running board along driver's side - bent and needs replacing, passenger side of truck sidewall - bent but repairable, fifth-wheel hitch and rails - bent and need replacing, various scratches - need sanding and repainting. Total cost with labor: $7,300. Earliest estimated date of completion: November 9. Early indications from the repair facility are that the insurance company may pay for the repairs.

Details on the trailer are a bit more sketchy. The estimated damage comes to $9,100. The door to the battery compartment was damaged and needs to be replaced, and there is a dent on the left front corner of the trailer. I also imagine there was some damage done underneath, although I do not have specifics.

Complicating things is the fact the Western Recreational Vehicles, Inc., manufacturer of our fifth-wheel, closed its doors in April, 2008. As a result, replacement parts have to be fabricated since they are no longer available. That also means repainting the entire rig, I gather, since they cannot repair, replicate, or replace the original decals and finish on the trailer.

That claim was submitted to the insurance company this week, so I don't know yet where we stand. Suffice to say, I have felt for most of this month as if I were standing waist-deep in mud, able to wave my arms frantically, yell and scream and cry, but not able to move or do anything about this predicament.

In a sense, I guess Halloween came early for me, but instead of a treat I got one hell of a trick played on me. If the claims are paid and we get the truck and trailer back in usable condition in November, I'll have something to be thankful for. Here's hoping.

#109 - A Look Back

Now that September has drawn to a close, I have a moment to step back and take a breath. This has been a busy month in a lot of ways.

On the plus side, we managed to get out twice with our trailer in September, once over Labor Day weekend and once more a couple of weekends later. For most people, Labor Day brings an end to the camping/RV season, but I think we still have a lot of outings to squeeze in between now and the end of the year. We have one outing planned and have talked about at least two more, so I think we'll be getting out some more as long as our schedules and work allow.

Speaking of work, September was very busy and also brought a few surprises. I had a lot of changes to make, which I got in thanks to an 11-day stretch after returning from my holiday weekend. Then, of course, there were changes to the changes, a number of them last minute.

Teresa, though, was responsible for the biggest change of all. For some time, she's been concerned about the future of her position, but she's been prepared to ride it out to the end. But then a co-worker told her that one of the local hospitals might be looking for someone with her experience.

She talked to them, they rewrote the position a bit to better fit her skills, and the job was hers. Okay, maybe it wasn't as easy as that. The money is a little less, and there may be occasional challenges in caring for our son in the afternoons (her current position offers some flexibility to work from home), but we're convinced we can make it work.

In addition, the new position offers Teresa some new challenges and opportunities for growth that she's looking forward to. Plus, we've gotten some new leads on some resources for helping us take care of our son.

All in all, this has been one of the more eventful months we've had. For the most part, those events have been positive, even the one where our dog got out of the back yard (he actually came back when called - we weren't sure he would). October has a tough act to follow.

#108 - Livin' La Vida Bueno

(Apologies to Ricky Marin, Ricky Martin fans, and those who can't stand Ricky Martin. I think that covers just about everyone.)

Life has been pretty good of late. Sure, it's had its stress - Teresa's job situation being in doubt, then resolved, then who knows? I've also been working plenty of overtime (including weekends) this summer while also trying to help get Christopher to do the required work for his online photography class.

I caught the sun just right

Yet, in the midst of that, I have had some good moments. Going out with Christopher to take architectural photos. Here's one of my favorites, featuring a Methodist church (or part of it) in downtown Boise:

I think we had a good time together, at least I did. In fact, since I bought my new camera about six weeks ago (a Pentax K-r DSLR from Costco), I've probably taken more pictures than I took in the several years Teresa and I shared our Panasonic Lumix point-and-shoot (a very nice camera that Teresa still uses).

Our new home on wheels

It has been an eventful summer. Right before Teresa got word that her job was being sent offshore (a decision rescinded a couple of weeks later with the immortal phrase "oh, we made a mistake"), we decided the time was right to upgrade our fifth-wheel. We found a 2007 Alpenlite Voyager with a much more family-friendly layout for a relatively low price. While we weren't really looking to trade up, we decided the price was too good to pass up, and we pulled the trigger. We were able to sell our old fifth-wheel within a couple of weeks. So far, we've only taken it out twice, but we look forward to years of enjoyment.

Today also marks four weeks exactly since I decided to end ongoing sessions with my therapist. At the time, I decided to end the sessions for primarily economic reasons. With Teresa's job status up in the air at the time, it seemed the right thing to do.

Later, when Teresa's job situation seemed a bit more secure, it still seemed like the right thing to do but for a different reason. I felt we had kind of plateaued in our session and felt I needed to undertake the next part of my journey on my own. I don't know if I will complete my journey of self-awareness before I finish my journey on this earth, but to paraphrase the old Virginia Slims cigarette commercial, I've come a long way, baby.

Here in Idaho, school is back in session, and the Labor Day weekend is almost upon, both of which mean a winding down of summer. For many, that means an end to camping and RVing experiences until the next year, but for us it may be only the beginning. Christopher has asked about taking the trailer somewhere for Christmas, and we're also hoping to make several outing between now and then.

So, if the phone rings and no one answers, look for us somewhere on the road living la vida bueno. I'll be the one with the smile on my face.

#107 - An Ending and Perhaps a Beginning

"We'll always have Paris." - Humphrey Bogart to Ingrid Bergman in Casablanca
"Louis, I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship." - Humphrey Bogart to Claude Rains in Casablanca

I was reminded of these two lines this weekend with the news that a co-worker and friend is leaving at the end of the week and moving to Pennsylvania. I'm not sure, but I may have been one of the last to hear the news. Apparently, I swing on the wrong grapevine.

Shannon is a friend in the Facebook sense, although not in the more traditional sense. We don't hang out together. She's never been to our house or vice versa. Still, I consider her a friend and one whose presence around the workplace I will miss a great deal.

One of the things I will miss most about Shannon is her smile. She has one of the warmest, brightest, and most genuine smiles I have been privileged to share. Suffice to say, if you were in a dark space in need of light, you could ask Shannon to smile and you would have all the light you need. There is also a sort of Cheshire cat quality about her smile, almost as if she knows something you don't and is debating whether to let you in on the secret.

I imagine that for a few weeks after Shannon's departure, the workplace will be a colder place. In thinking about this post, I had a flashback to the descriptions in the Harry Potter movies of how people felt after the dementors had come through, as if the joy had been sucked out of the world. A little over the top, but I  know that for a little while, laughter will seem a little more hollow around the workplace.

It is an undeniable truth that in life things change. Things change all the time, and nowhere is this more true than in Corporate America. Fortunately, Shannon's departure is not because of a decision to downsize but is due to a desire to reunite her family all in one location.

But change sometimes hurts. In my case, it will ache for a little while. I have been fortunate to have known a handful of wonderful women in my life. One, I have been married to for nearly 18 years, and she has the patience of Job where I am concerned. Another is the person whose job I took but who then became one of my closest friends. Shannon is among that group.

Come Friday, Shannon will be gone but not forgotten. As she said to me in an e-mail Sunday, "we will always have Facebook." It isn't Paris, but it is, I hope, the start of a beautiful friendship.

#106 - Ghosts of My Father

First off, Happy Father's Day to all of the dads out there.

This Father's Day found me somewhat reflective. First of all, I had to work much of the day. Teresa has been sick for a week, so I've also tried to juggle doing what I can around the house and seeing to her needs. Needless to say, our original plans for the day were definitely subjected to change.

For some reason, this year I also spent some time thinking about my own father who was, in a sense, the father I never knew.

I saw my father for the last time in the spring of 1962, the spring after I turned five. I left to go to kindergarten, and when I got home he was no longer there, at least not physically. But for years, he was always with me.

Perhaps I should say that the idea of my father was always with me since, being five at the time he left, my memories of our time together are not all that plentiful.

At the time, the explanation from my mother was that my father decided he could not handle having a family. So he left. The truth, it turns out, was apparently something much different.

Suffice to say that it appears criminal acts were involved, leading to a stretch in prison. Details, though, are a bit hard to come by fifty years after the fact. What is a fact is that for years I blamed myself for my father's departure because I had no other story to fall back on.

Beyond that, however, I think that I never really learned how to be a son. In some ways, I think I tried to grow up at age five, when I wasn't really ready to be grown up.

The flip side of that is that is that I never really learned how to apply the lessons and experiences that come from a father-son relationship when I became a father. As a child without a father to bond with, I withdrew and became somewhat distant as a means of protecting myself.

The result is that I sometimes have trouble getting close to my own son. Some of that is that I don't really know how to relate to him sometimes because of his autism. Most of it is my own difficulties in getting close to others.

Now to cut myself a little slack. I think I am a better father to my son than my father was to me. The main reason is that I am still around, so there is always a chance to get it right. We occasionally argue, we sometimes laugh, we each sometimes dig in our heels. But through it all, we are still together in a way my father and I never were - as father and son.

#105 - Bachelor for a Week

It's a bit quiet around the house the past few days. On Friday, I took Teresa and Christopher to the airport for an eight day stay with family in Alabama. While they're away, it's just me and Oliver.

In a way, it's kind of like being a bachelor all over again. I can go to bed when I want, get up when I want (at least this weekend), and eat what I want when I want. Those are the up side.

On the other hand, there's no one around to have an adult conversation with or to talk about the day with. Because it's only me when it usually is the three of us, it's almost as if there's an echo or a hollowness around the house.

I planned to take the trailer out for three days while the family is in Alabama, but I don't think that's going to happen. For one thing, we have a delivery scheduled during those three days that I ought to be home to receive. For another, the weather isn't quite as nice during those three days as it has been this weekend.

Part of life and marriage is adapting and compromise. This week, I'm adapting to their absence. Saturday, I'll be compromising my sleep to pick them up at the airport after their late arrival home. And I'll be ready.

#104 - Road Trip

Recently, we packed everyone (except the dog) into the more fuel-efficient of our two vehicles and took a little road trip. We traveled about an hour south of Boise to an area known as Swan Falls.

One sample of the promotional
material on display.

Swan Falls is the site of one of Idaho Power's many dams along the Snake River. The original dam was built in 1901 and is the oldest dam on the river. In 1994, a new power plant was built alongside the old plant, which was converted into a museum, open just a few times a month for tours.

The museum features much of the original equipment used in the first power plant, along with some samples of promotional materials used by Idaho Power during the first half of the twentieth century.

The day we visited there was an open house being conducted by Idaho Power, so we took the opportunity to get a closer look and take some pictures and video. This short video combines both still shots and motion to try to give a sense of the facility from both inside and out.

The dam is located in the heart of the Birds of Prey National Conservation Area. There are places upstream and downstream from the dam that are suitable for primitive camping if you have a tent, camper, or small trailer, although we did see a motorhome as well. Trees are nowhere to be found, making shade almost non-existent. As a result, summertime is not the best time to visit if you have issues with the heat.

One thing I discover the longer I live in Idaho is that much of what is worth seeing is found a little off the beaten path. Swan Falls certainly falls (pardon the pun) into that category.